Shipping policy

Dispatched from the nearest press, within reason.

Every item in the catalogue is printed after you order it and not a moment before.

There is no warehouse. The Subcommittee once convened to consider a warehouse, and the file on the matter was last described by the Clerk as "somewhere damp." A heron was seen near it.

The heron has conveyed, through a third party, that it cannot be expected to remember every slip of paper that happens to find its way past.

Production takes two to five business days. Shipping takes whatever the carrier quotes at checkout, plus the ordinary indignities of distance. Orders are printed at the press nearest you, which means your parcel may arrive from somewhere you were not expecting.

The warden has reviewed this arrangement and recorded it as "shorter than usual and more to the left."

Tracking is issued the moment your parcel leaves the press. The Warden of the Sluice has supplied the standing advisory, in the Warden's own register: "The parcel is in transit.

We do not know precisely where, because the instrument that would tell us is the tracking number, and you are holding it. It will move slower than you think it needs to. It will be thereabouts when the fog lifts."

If fifteen business days pass after dispatch and nothing has arrived, write to us with your order number. A search party will be sent. The record of our search parties is mixed, one having been lost in the fog of last April, but the paperwork on them is impeccable, when it can be found.